If you’ve never read these, they’re absolutely brilliant. No difference from the things you find on bathroom walls today.
A few favorites:
Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
Restitutus says: “Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates”.
Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.
If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all: if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice; she costs 4 sestertii.
We have wet the bed, host. I confess we have done wrong. If you want to know why, there was no chamber pot
The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
Let everyone one in love come and see. I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?
SERIOUSLY GUYS READ THEM ALL.
Reblogging my themeblog here because I love these.
“Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog” omg