I AM MAKING THE FUCK OUT OF THIS TURKEY
It’s my first Thanksgiving as the head chef. I am scared so hold me.
See that bird? My hand was all up in it. I peeled apart the skin from the meat and shoved my special spice herb rub all up in there.
I AM COOKING FOR SIXTEEN PEOPLE TWO OF WHOM ARE VEGAN HOLD ME.
at least the pies and the yams and the cornbread are already done. I’m a goddamn machine.